Time waits for no one

30Jul10

Eternal clock, cc-by-sa, Robbert van der Steeg

What to say? I’m learning a lot by being self-employed. I have to arrange so many things now and I’m all on my own. Good for developing discipline and self-reliance, for facing fears. It keeps me busy.

Here’s a quick summary of my Zen activities over the past few months.

Brad Warner

I sat with Brad Warner, in Wuppertal and Nijmegen on 12 and 13 June. Warner’s stay in The Netherlands is pretty well documented.

Buddhist Broadcasting Foundation:

Brad’s blog posts:

During Brad’s stay I spent a weekday showing him around Nijmegen. This involved a lot of browsing through collections of music and video stores. And some nice conversation. During the weekend, I stayed at Hanny’s place, where some of my Zen friends had gathered. There was a lot of metal and punk music (not my taste), but also Rainer’s shiatsu, which was relaxing. Hanny was an excellent host.

Sesshin

Photo © Zen.nl

I was on sesshin from 27 June until 3 July. Words can hardly describe my time there.

It was hot. Emotional highs and lows quickly alternated, I was on a rollercoaster. I didn’t talk to people, didn’t look them in the eye. Everyone was dressed in black. I heard (and nearly saw) 3D-soundscapes made up of various types of birds, cars and their reflections on the walls. I saw demons in the carpet, but also Bart Simpson. My body ached.

I sat in the most silent silence, my breath hardly noticeable. I saw the world’s suffering. I realized that I can’t do anything about it. I also realized I don’t have to. But I want to anyway. So I’ll ease up on myself and do what I can.

I had a horrible time and a great time. The day I came home, I registered for the January sesshin on the island of Ameland.

Zendo

When I came home, my partner told me he’s going to attend an introductory course in Zen meditation at Zen.nl starting September. That was such great news!

So last week, I cleared out the small room I already used as an office and to do zazen, bought new drapes, and made room for a second zabutan. I’ll clear out all the book shelves, and put a fresh layer of whitewash on the walls. We’ll have our own private zendo. It’s already looking good in the photo!

New teacher

The past year, Tom has been my personal teacher. After the sesshin he decided it was time for me to move on. I will continue my Zen training with Harmen. Beside that, I also sit with a weekly advanced group taught by Rients.

I wrote up a nice report for the past year with Tom. It’s amazing how much I’ve learned about myself in one year. Illusion after illusion has become visible. I hope I can continue my training with more equanimity. The middle way is often hard to keep for me.

I’d like to close with a note to myself that I found on Brad’s blog:

生死事大
無常迅速
光陰可惜
時不待人

Shou ji ji dai
Mu jou jin soku
Kou in oshimu beshi
Toki hitowo matazu

Great is the matter of birth and death
Life slips quickly by
To waste time is a great shame
Time waits for no one

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Filed under: Buddhism, Zen | 6 Comments

6 Responses to “Time waits for no one”

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1 max on 30/07/2010 said:

i’d been waiting for one… beautiful post! :)

Reply
- 2 marjon on 30/07/2010 said:
  
  Thanks for reading and for the compliment, Max!
  
  Reply
3 Ton Bil on 31/07/2010 said:

Moving blogpost, your pure and heartfelt steps on the middle way. Thanks.

And ehmm… “I realized that I can’t do anything about it.” Oh yes you can and you do, I think. Take as an example the intention of your partner, to go try Zen. Isn’t that (at least partly) an outcome of your radiating good stuff by just going this way.? In vipasana, I’ll go with you. Metta to all!

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- 4 marjon on 01/08/2010 said:
  
  Thank you, Ton.
  
  On a worldwide scale, troughout time, any effort I make is so tiny. My teacher told me about the bird and the blazing forest fire. The bird flies up and down to the sea, carrying in its beak one drop of water each time and releasing it on the fire. That’s the kind of ‘can’t do anything about it’ I mean.
  
  Let’s do what we can. :)
  
  Reply
  - 5 Ton Bil on 01/08/2010 said:
    
    I’m not sure about this, but could it be that “worldwide scale, throughout time” are concepts, far too wide to measure anyone’s efforts? In it, I hear an echo of religions that focus on always and everywhere, eternity and the creation of all. Ain’t there only the now and here that really count?
    
    Reply
    - 6 marjon on 01/08/2010 said:
      
      Sure the here and now count, but if that was all you would take into account, how would you decide on direction, or make plans?
      
      These things are so awfully hard to discuss, especially online. And then, I’m a Zen girl, always getting caught up in paradox. Thought and words don’t suffice. Sorry, my friend. We should have coffee together to talk this over. Or better yet, just sit together and shut up. :-)
      
      Reply